A Message to the Universe 2: Healing Phase

Dear Universe,

Being extraordinary is not about people who surround me, it is just who I am. I do not need anyone to make me feel good about myself, or that I have the ability to do whatever I want, because simply I believe in ME.

I will not let anything bring me down. No one shall make me feel inferior. Hard times are there so that I grow stronger and wiser. For me, the lesson behind any problem is more important than the problem itself; that is how I can turn obstacles to opportunities.

I may not be able to change the world, but I sure can change myself. I do not want to be part of the problem but rather be the solution. I will not complain about how bad and rude people have become or how unjust this country is; I will simply take the first steps to change everything I hate by being the change I want to see in this world.

I have learnt that happiness is never in the huge but rather in these everyday little blessings. Happiness is in the smile of an innocent child, in the satisfaction of an old grandmother. Happiness is about counting the great blessings I have, not about focusing on what I missed. It is about building the perfect future rather than regretting a painful past. Happiness is in giving not in gaing. It is in the smile I draw in someone's face. Happiness is a way of life, not a destination.

Dear Universe, I have to be myself because life is too short to be anyone else. I cannot waste my life regretting what had happened or feeling sorry about what could have been. I cannot let others control my life or wait for a hero to make it better for me. I have one life to live, so I better make the best of.

Yours sincerely,

Alaa Essam El-Feqi

الرجولة جدعنه مش هز كتاف

عزيزي سي السيد،

          تحية طيبة وبعد..

سعدتُ كثيراً لرؤيتك بالأمس، فقد ظننت أنك أنقرض في هذا الزمن السعيد ولكن يبدو أني كنت مخطئة. فعلي رغم اعتزازك المبالغ فيه برجولتك فلقد طرأت عليك الكثير من التغيرات؛ فلقد ارتقيت في المكانة العلمية وأصبحت أستاذاً في اللغة العربية بجامعة القاهرة ولكن مستواك الأخلاقي مازال في انحدار مستمر، فمازلت أذكر نظرة الكراهية في عينيك: تلك النظرة التي ميزتها من أول لحظة رأيتك فيها وحاولت إنكارها بشدة، فلا يعقل أن يكره أستاذ جامعي مجموعة من الطلبة لمجرد أنهم في قسم اللغة الإنجليزية بينما تخرج هو من قسم اللغة العربية، لا يعقل أن يمتلك أستاذ جامعي ذلك الكم من الحقد الطبقي داخله مؤمناً بأن هؤلاء الطلبة مجرد حفنة من الأوغاد الذين أفسدهم تدليل أمهاتهم.

كل هذا لا ينقص من رجولتك شئ على أي حال، فما تفكر فيه وما تعتقده هي أشياء شخصية لا تهمني في شئ، ولكن ما لا أستطيع تقبله هي تصرفاتك المريضة المبنية علي تلك الأفكار. فلا يحق لرجل شرقي في مثل مكانتك العلمية يا سيدي أن يدخل غرفة محاضرات بها فتاة تصلي ويجلس لمشاهدتها، حتى وأن كان هناك مكان للصلاة وحتى أن كان موعد محاضرتك قد حان، فأنت يا سيدي كرجل - مسلم شرقي أولاً وكمعلم ثانياً- يجب أن تكون قدوة يتعلم منها الجميع، وألا تترك بعض أفكارك السوداء عن التفرقة الطبقية تمنعك من التصرف الصحيح. فقد كان بإمكانك يا سيدي أن تنتظر خارج الغرفة إلي أن تنتهي الفتاة من صلاتها ثم تعطيها محاضرة عن كل تلك الأشياء الجميلة كاحترام مواعيد الآخرين وأن هناك أماكن محددة للصلاة وما إلي ذلك.

كل ما أرجوه منك يا سيدي هو أن تتنازل عن يغض غرورك وأن تتصرف بطريقة تليق بكونك رجل مسلم شرقي وأستاذ جامعي، وألا تصبح نموذج أخر للاستخدام السيئ للسلطة –ذلك النموذج الذي أمتلئ به مجتمعنا في الآونة الأخيرة..

مع خالص تحياتي

...

A Pen & A Paper

Words! I just love this word "words". I love to see words next to each other. And what I love more is creating these words: holding an empty white paper and filling it with words, words that carry meanings, meanings that can change people's lives.

As a child, reading was my favorite activity. I dreamt that one day I would write a book that people would enjoy reading and it might even improve their lives. I wanted to imitate those people who helped in shaping my identity.

And I did imitate them.. I started writing when I was in preparatory school, but till today I can say that only two or three pieces of what I wrote are worth reading from my own point of view. Maybe because I started as an imitator that now I cannot create my own ideas?! It didn't seem to matter to me, as long as I write and create, as long as I put my ideas and the ideas of people smarter than me on paper .

But lately, it seems like my mind has gone blank. Every time I open my blog to write about a topic that had been occupying my mind, I don't find any words to express my thoughts; some other times I write a phrase or two then save the post as a draft. This made me really sad, because writing was one of the few hobbies I had.

Today, however, I decided to go back to the old writing methods; I decided to use my real pen, instead of the key-board, to fill an empty paper with words, even if they are meaningless, and it did work.

My dear blog, forgive me, but I love my notebook much more than you...

For Future Family Reunions

For any coming family reunion please do the following:

• 
  
  Unless you are asked for advice, stop telling people what they should do in their lives, because honestly no one wants to take the advice of a person he sees only twice a year!!
• 
  
  Stop commenting on everyone's outfit, makeup, etc!
• 
  
  Don't you ever tell a girl that she has gained a lot of wight since the last time you saw her and start preaching about how she should lose weight before getting married or else she would never be able to return to how she was before!!!
• 
  
  Never ask a newly married couple if there are any expected babies!
• 
  
  Don't tell the unmarried how important marriage is and how they should put it before their career or college!
• 
  
  STOP saying how much the younger generation is spoiled and the older one used to be more responsible, ethical, hardworking, etc.
• 
  
  Don't talk about people behind their backs thenin order to appear honest you start saying what you said behind their back in a better, friendly laughing manner!
• 
  
  And finally, if you don't have something new to say, shut up and stop repeating the same boring conversations you repeat every single reunion. (You might as well record a tape and play it every reunion instead!)

Being the Pencil

Ever since I read this Story of the Pencil by Paulo Coelho years ago, I couldn't forget it. I was so impressed by the pencil's fifth quality: "it always leaves a mark".

I, too, want to leave a mark. Not any mark, but a great one. I want people I know v say, after I die, "She was my friend, she left a mark in my life".

Lots of people pass by our lives and we never get to notice them. This doesn't mean that these people are so ordinary or that there's nothing especial about them; it just means that, for us, there's nothing especial about them. And that's what makes us remember colleagues and teachers from our primary schools while we forget about colleagues and professors from college. While the first affected our lives by a way or another, the second meant absolutely nothing to us. They may have changed the lives of other people or to the whole world the were great people, but simply to us they didn't mean anything.

Also I don't want to be any pencil, I want to be a coloring one. Not just because I hate these gray lead pencils ever since I was in kindergarten, but also because they are so ordinary and gloomy. Instead, I would rather be one of these cool coloring pencils. I won't choose a certain color, I just want it to be a bright, warm and cheerful one.

I want to make people round my happy, successful, and secure. Not only my family and friends, but also those people I see everyday, people I know very well and people I hardly know. Many people say that they want to change the world, but I only want to change my world and people in it.

I do believe that to leave a great memorable mark, I don't have to go preach or give long speeches about change and success. The mark is created by those very ordinary everyday acts: a simple smile, a warm hug,  a friendly advice, etc. And years ago, Manhattan Gandhi said it best, "Be the change you want to see in the world".

Panic Attack: How to Deal with Exams

Definition of ‘Exams’ Period’:

• No TV
• No  talking in the phone for hours
• No play station, wee or xbox
• No time for daydreams
• No time for friends
• No time for family
• No time for sleeping
• And finally…No time for STUDYING!!!!

Welcome to the Panic Attack!

Panicking before exams is usually due to the fear of failing to adequately prepare for the exam or the fear of failure in general. Also having negative thoughts, like “I can’t do it” or “I’m useless”, leads to the inability to do the required work.
Here are some tips that will help avoiding exams anxiety:

• Try to plan your work in order to have extra time to finish studying and revise before exams. Establish a pattern of revision that gives you time to relax, especially last thing at night.
• Prioritize your work ( The most important first, then the less important).
• Avoid procrastination. Do what you have to do the same day you have to do it.
• Put yourself into a positive frame of mind by imagining how you would like things to go. Imagine yourself turning up for the exam feeling confident and relaxed. This can replace negative thoughts with more positive ones.
• Do not work till the last minute; last minute revision may leave you with an anxious feeling.
• Do not allow negative thoughts to stop you. Have high self-confidence and believe that you can do whatever you wanna do no matter what the circumstances are.
• In the exam, decide on the order in which you'll answer the questions. It is usually best to begin with the one you feel most confident about. Think about how you will plan your time, and stick to your plan.

A Message to the Universe (1): Uncertainty

Dear Universe,

I’m in an endless journey towards maturity. I do lots of foolish things. I see things from my own perspective, which is very limited, and act according to it. I make mistakes no one makes but me. Sometimes I act like a three-year-old girl, thinking that I’m the wisest ever.

Dear Universe, I hate my stupidity. I hate my limited perspective and my childish mind. I’m not even sure that, when I grow older, I’ll grow any wiser.

Dear Universe, I’m not talented. I have no special abilities; I cannot draw, write, sing, compose, dance, create, understand others’ feelings or even express myself. I also don’t have any super natural powers; I can’t fly, read people’s mind, move things without touching them, or control minds. I’m just like any other human with nothing distinguishable.

Dear Universe, I just wish that someday, with my limited mind and abilities, I would do something of significance.

Yours Sincerely,

Alaa Essam El-Feqi

Being Bilingual in an Arab Nation

Being in the third year (the year before last) in college, I started worrying about my career after I finish and all these stuff. So, I started asking some of my graduate friends about the most required skills I should have and write in my CV. To my surprise, they all agreed upon two things: second language and computer skills.

As for the computer, I sure agree about that, we are in the age of technology after all, everyday appears a new gadget! But what surprised me is the second language thing.

I live in Egypt, which is -supposedly- an Arab country. My mother tongue is Arabic, my culture is that of an Arab nation, why then should I have a second language in order to find a proper job?!

When I thought about it, I found that it's not only about finding a proper job; it's become a style of life! I have lots of friends who speak English most of the time, thinking that by doing this, they will appear more educated or something. I also know some people who can't express themselves in Arabic, even though they were born in Egypt and raised here. And the strange thing is that they don't feel ashamed of themselves or even think that there is anything wrong with them.

Could globalization be an answer for this strange phenomenon? Then why don't people in America and England speak Arabic? Or does this globalization process works only one way?! Or maybe it's the effect of the English colonization, but I think that people use a second language nowadays more than they used to do during the colonization times.

Well, I think it's just a natural result for the European and American ideological invasion which the Arabs follow blindly.

I know some people may think that it's highly ironic to write about such a topic using another language other than the language I'm trying to restore in our Arab society; but the truth is, I, myself, am a victim of the education system in my country. I was in a language school and when I finished it I joined a department in college in which everything I study is in English. Yet, that doesn't mean that I use words like "Hey dude!" and "cool" in my everyday life conversations; and I also don't my ignore my own language favoring the English one; on the contrary, I do enjoy reading Arabic books and articles and try to develop my written Arabic.

إعتذار

دايماً بعتبر نفسي شخصية غريبة، ساعات بتعلم حاجات من ناس حواليا ومش شرط يكونو قريبين منّي، بالعكس ممكن يكون حد متكلمتش معاه غير مرتين بس أتعلمت منه حاجه متعلمتهاش من ناس أعرفهم بقالي سنين، وده مبيدلش بإي حال من الأحوال إن مش الحد ده أحسن من الناس دي. ممكن حد يقول كلمة قدامي أو يعمل تصرف معين يغير في شخصيتي من غير حتي ميكون واخد باله..

من كام يوم كنت بتكلم مع بنت قلتلي كلمة علقت معايا أوي، "لو متعرفينيش يبقي متحكميش عليّه" ( أو حاجه زي كده D: )، ورغم إني ممكن أكون سمعت الكلمة دي أو كلام زيها قبل كده كتير، بس ربنا أراض إن المره دي بالذات هي اللي الكلام يعلق فيها معايا.

لما روحت فضلت أفكر في الناس اللي حكمت عليهم من غير معرفهم بجد، أو الناس اللي علاقتي بيهم علاقة "سطحية" وحكمت عليهم من أول إنطباع أخدته عنهم أو حتي من كلام الناس عنهم.  يااااه!!!!! أنا في كذا حد عملت معاه كده! أنا إزاي بعمل كده؟! طيب هو معني كده إني ظلمت الناس دي؟! أكيد ظلمتهم.. طيب هم ممكن يسمحوني؟ لو أنا كنت مكنهم كنت حسامحهم؟ مش عارفه...

أعتقد إن الحل إني أبدأ بنفسي وأبطل أحكم علي أي حد مهما كان، أولاً لأني مش في مكانة تسمحلي إني أحكم علي أي حد، ثانياً أنا بني أدمة زيّ زيهم وزي مهما ممكن يكونو بيغلطو أنا كمان بغلط، علي الأقل أنا مش متأكدة من غلطاتهم بس متأكدة من اللي أنا بعمله، مما يعني إنهم أحسن منّي.

أنا ححاول أشوف الحاجة الحلوه في الناس ومديش لنفسي الحق إني أحكم علي أي حد، وأكيد لو عملت كده حبقى مبسوطة أكتر وأنا بتعامل مع الناس كلها

أنا حبدأ بنفسي... =)

(ملحوظة: الكلام ده أنا كنت كتباه لنفسي، فأنا بأعتذر لو في أخطاء في اللغة أو لو الأسلوب ركيك :))

The "It was nice to meet you" Attitude

One of the most things I dislike in people is the "it was nice to meet you" attitude. You know when you meet someone you hardly know and after you say hey, how are you then you find him saying "it was nice meeting you" and you know that he does not really mean it. In situations like this, I find myself unable to reply so I give them a fake smile.

Also people who keeps saying "I love you" over and over again with no occasion at all are really weird! Well, it's ok to show others how you feel towards them every now and then, but it's sure not ok to keep buzzing around like the most annoying bee in the world, it's really makes the one you addressing your feelings to very uncomfortable! It's really awkward!

For me, I would rather be rude than be fake. I know that sometimes truth does hurt but it's better than just pretending that everything is perfect! I have tried so many times to be just like everyone else, to be fake, but I always failed. So, I've finally decided that I won't change my attitude to please people, let them call me rude, call me stupid, call me whatever, I'm just who I am and I am not going to change for anyone's sake.

Well, I'm not that rude after all, don't get me wrong. I don't go around telling people how ugly they look like or stuff like that; I just hate to say what is not true. So, if I told you that I miss you, then I would really mean it. And if you ask me what's my opinion about something I dislike, I'll probably tell you how to make it better.

So, for heavens sake, be yourself and stop being so fake. This will make all the difference.