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20.5.10

A Message to the Universe (1): Uncertainty

Dear Universe,
I’m in an endless journey towards maturity. I do lots of foolish things. I see things from my own perspective, which is very limited, and act according to it. I make mistakes no one makes but me. Sometimes I act like a three-year-old girl, thinking that I’m the wisest ever.



Dear Universe, I hate my stupidity. I hate my limited perspective and my childish mind. I’m not even sure that, when I grow older, I’ll grow any wiser.



Dear Universe, I’m not talented. I have no special abilities; I cannot draw, write, sing, compose, dance, create, understand others’ feelings or even express myself. I also don’t have any super natural powers; I can’t fly, read people’s mind, move things without touching them, or control minds. I’m just like any other human with nothing distinguishable.



Dear Universe, I just wish that someday, with my limited mind and abilities, I would do something of significance.



Yours Sincerely,
Alaa Essam El-Feqi

14.5.10

Being Bilingual in an Arab Nation

Being in the third year (the year before last) in college, I started worrying about my career after I finish and all these stuff. So, I started asking some of my graduate friends about the most required skills I should have and write in my CV. To my surprise, they all agreed upon two things: second language and computer skills.
As for the computer, I sure agree about that, we are in the age of technology after all, everyday appears a new gadget! But what surprised me is the second language thing.
I live in Egypt, which is -supposedly- an Arab country. My mother tongue is Arabic, my culture is that of an Arab nation, why then should I have a second language in order to find a proper job?!
When I thought about it, I found that it's not only about finding a proper job; it's become a style of life! I have lots of friends who speak English most of the time, thinking that by doing this, they will appear more educated or something. I also know some people who can't express themselves in Arabic, even though they were born in Egypt and raised here. And the strange thing is that they don't feel ashamed of themselves or even think that there is anything wrong with them.
Could globalization be an answer for this strange phenomenon? Then why don't people in America and England speak Arabic? Or does this globalization process works only one way?! Or maybe it's the effect of the English colonization, but I think that people use a second language nowadays more than they used to do during the colonization times.
Well, I think it's just a natural result for the European and American ideological invasion which the Arabs follow blindly.
I know some people may think that it's highly ironic to write about such a topic using another language other than the language I'm trying to restore in our Arab society; but the truth is, I, myself, am a victim of the education system in my country. I was in a language school and when I finished it I joined a department in college in which everything I study is in English. Yet, that doesn't mean that I use words like "Hey dude!" and "cool" in my everyday life conversations; and I also don't my ignore my own language favoring the English one; on the contrary, I do enjoy reading Arabic books and articles and try to develop my written Arabic.

3.5.10

إعتذار

دايماً بعتبر نفسي شخصية غريبة، ساعات بتعلم حاجات من ناس حواليا ومش شرط يكونو قريبين منّي، بالعكس ممكن يكون حد متكلمتش معاه غير مرتين بس أتعلمت منه حاجه متعلمتهاش من ناس أعرفهم بقالي سنين، وده مبيدلش بإي حال من الأحوال إن مش الحد ده أحسن من الناس دي. ممكن حد يقول كلمة قدامي أو يعمل تصرف معين يغير في شخصيتي من غير حتي ميكون واخد باله..
من كام يوم كنت بتكلم مع بنت قلتلي كلمة علقت معايا أوي، "لو متعرفينيش يبقي متحكميش عليّه" ( أو حاجه زي كده D: )، ورغم إني ممكن أكون سمعت الكلمة دي أو كلام زيها قبل كده كتير، بس ربنا أراض إن المره دي بالذات هي اللي الكلام يعلق فيها معايا.
لما روحت فضلت أفكر في الناس اللي حكمت عليهم من غير معرفهم بجد، أو الناس اللي علاقتي بيهم علاقة "سطحية" وحكمت عليهم من أول إنطباع أخدته عنهم أو حتي من كلام الناس عنهم.  يااااه!!!!! أنا في كذا حد عملت معاه كده! أنا إزاي بعمل كده؟! طيب هو معني كده إني ظلمت الناس دي؟! أكيد ظلمتهم.. طيب هم ممكن يسمحوني؟ لو أنا كنت مكنهم كنت حسامحهم؟ مش عارفه...
أعتقد إن الحل إني أبدأ بنفسي وأبطل أحكم علي أي حد مهما كان، أولاً لأني مش في مكانة تسمحلي إني أحكم علي أي حد، ثانياً أنا بني أدمة زيّ زيهم وزي مهما ممكن يكونو بيغلطو أنا كمان بغلط، علي الأقل أنا مش متأكدة من غلطاتهم بس متأكدة من اللي أنا بعمله، مما يعني إنهم أحسن منّي.
أنا ححاول أشوف الحاجة الحلوه في الناس ومديش لنفسي الحق إني أحكم علي أي حد، وأكيد لو عملت كده حبقى مبسوطة أكتر وأنا بتعامل مع الناس كلها
أنا حبدأ بنفسي... =)

(ملحوظة: الكلام ده أنا كنت كتباه لنفسي، فأنا بأعتذر لو في أخطاء في اللغة أو لو الأسلوب ركيك :))